Letting Go In Faith

Letting Go in Faith
While it has been awhile since I wrote, I never knew how prophetic a simple name of a blog could be. I have been hiding from this place, hiding out of tiredness, excuses, but most of all fear. Letting Go of Me to lay at the feet of Him. Not sure where the journey may take me but confident it will be for my good and His Glory. Really? One only writes such a name when their life is going well. It is rare one would make that bold of statement in the midst of a storm. Looking back I wonder if I spoke that and a dark cloud began looming as if to say “We’ll see”.
The past few months have been marked with one crisis and a whole lot of trials along the way. The big crisis of an unsuspecting illness has waned and now that my aunt is in Texas, I feel as if a big hole is left. The fact she has been in and out of the hospital there for a week or two has made the hole bigger but God has been sustaining. It’s the minor trials that seem to be sticking like glue to my world. In fact to many and even myself a few months ago, I would say, what trial? No major tragedy, immediate illness or the like. No, I have come to learn that those strike a minority in comparison with the rest of us. Sure, we all have times when we are in that one thing that causes everything to uproot. But most, most of us live out day to day with not just one trial, but many that sit on the proverbial plate of life and we are one pea or carrot away from a melt down.
These are the people that you can tell something is off, but you just don’t know what and you may even ask and they say I’m fine. They probably are by the Christian standards of if this or this isn’t wrong then you have nothing to be complaining about. We view the struggles with mundane of life to be complaining or not grateful enough or you aren’t seeing all the great things. Most of us do know what is great in our life, we get it, we are appreciative of it all. It’s just that there are a view items on our plate that are turning sour or peas are trying to escape or mashed potatoes are being heaped on. Therefore, we feel like we are in a pressure cooker and believe me at that moment. Gratefulness and positive thinking doesn’t do us a whole lot of good. It’s not supposed to. These, these my friends are the trials and struggles of life that are to keep us grounded. These are the “I’ve got so much going on” statements that flow that are true. And I for one am one that lives in that state because just when you get the peas in line, the carrots start to get unruly.
I have lived in bondage that there is something wrong with me if my peas and carrots are out of line. No, it just means that because God has chosen to send them in this direction, I am not going to take on your heap of mashed potatoes thank you very much. I have been reading a book called Smart Women know when to say NO. Now, you can debate me all you want that we say no too much in our society. But in my life, in what God has taught me is, there are some things in life that you really can say No too because he’s given you some peas and carrots to reign in. It’s ok to say No to more mashed potatoes. It’s Ok that you have enough on your plate. As long as it’s the portions and choices that God has placed there, it is OK that you say a big fat NO and then not let the guilt layers pour on the gravy which causes just as much issues as the potatoes.
We also forget that blessings sometimes rush in add more to the plate of life. They are good things but may require a brief season of sacrifice. We will call these lettuce. You can see how quickly a nice blessing, mixed with some unruly peas and carrots, with a spoonful of mashed potatoes looming and some gravy being poured, you quickly have a plate out of control.
My epiphany for the week has been that if you let all these things crowd out the meat (God), then you have more than a plate out of control, you have a hopeless plate out of control. And then, that is when you know you are being tested. When in the midst of circumstance, you forget not that God is there, but that He is big enough, that you don’t need a bigger plate, you need more of Him and less of all the other stuff. If you forget to view Him as THE PORTION, not just a Portion, then we fail the test miserably. Now once you realize you failed the test, the meal is not over. You get to get back in the meal and rearrange it all. Nothing may going away, nothing may change, other than as God becomes bigger, the rest lies in the shadows. For me, sometimes making that portion bigger seems to require more out of me. In truth, it just means you find rest that comes from Him. You hang out with Him more. You share the burden. You stop, breath and take one step forward. So maybe, just maybe you don’t fail the test, you get back in the game and succeed.