Letting Go In Faith

Letting Go in Faith
While it has been awhile since I wrote, I never knew how prophetic a simple name of a blog could be. I have been hiding from this place, hiding out of tiredness, excuses, but most of all fear. Letting Go of Me to lay at the feet of Him. Not sure where the journey may take me but confident it will be for my good and His Glory. Really? One only writes such a name when their life is going well. It is rare one would make that bold of statement in the midst of a storm. Looking back I wonder if I spoke that and a dark cloud began looming as if to say “We’ll see”.
The past few months have been marked with one crisis and a whole lot of trials along the way. The big crisis of an unsuspecting illness has waned and now that my aunt is in Texas, I feel as if a big hole is left. The fact she has been in and out of the hospital there for a week or two has made the hole bigger but God has been sustaining. It’s the minor trials that seem to be sticking like glue to my world. In fact to many and even myself a few months ago, I would say, what trial? No major tragedy, immediate illness or the like. No, I have come to learn that those strike a minority in comparison with the rest of us. Sure, we all have times when we are in that one thing that causes everything to uproot. But most, most of us live out day to day with not just one trial, but many that sit on the proverbial plate of life and we are one pea or carrot away from a melt down.
These are the people that you can tell something is off, but you just don’t know what and you may even ask and they say I’m fine. They probably are by the Christian standards of if this or this isn’t wrong then you have nothing to be complaining about. We view the struggles with mundane of life to be complaining or not grateful enough or you aren’t seeing all the great things. Most of us do know what is great in our life, we get it, we are appreciative of it all. It’s just that there are a view items on our plate that are turning sour or peas are trying to escape or mashed potatoes are being heaped on. Therefore, we feel like we are in a pressure cooker and believe me at that moment. Gratefulness and positive thinking doesn’t do us a whole lot of good. It’s not supposed to. These, these my friends are the trials and struggles of life that are to keep us grounded. These are the “I’ve got so much going on” statements that flow that are true. And I for one am one that lives in that state because just when you get the peas in line, the carrots start to get unruly.
I have lived in bondage that there is something wrong with me if my peas and carrots are out of line. No, it just means that because God has chosen to send them in this direction, I am not going to take on your heap of mashed potatoes thank you very much. I have been reading a book called Smart Women know when to say NO. Now, you can debate me all you want that we say no too much in our society. But in my life, in what God has taught me is, there are some things in life that you really can say No too because he’s given you some peas and carrots to reign in. It’s ok to say No to more mashed potatoes. It’s Ok that you have enough on your plate. As long as it’s the portions and choices that God has placed there, it is OK that you say a big fat NO and then not let the guilt layers pour on the gravy which causes just as much issues as the potatoes.
We also forget that blessings sometimes rush in add more to the plate of life. They are good things but may require a brief season of sacrifice. We will call these lettuce. You can see how quickly a nice blessing, mixed with some unruly peas and carrots, with a spoonful of mashed potatoes looming and some gravy being poured, you quickly have a plate out of control.
My epiphany for the week has been that if you let all these things crowd out the meat (God), then you have more than a plate out of control, you have a hopeless plate out of control. And then, that is when you know you are being tested. When in the midst of circumstance, you forget not that God is there, but that He is big enough, that you don’t need a bigger plate, you need more of Him and less of all the other stuff. If you forget to view Him as THE PORTION, not just a Portion, then we fail the test miserably. Now once you realize you failed the test, the meal is not over. You get to get back in the meal and rearrange it all. Nothing may going away, nothing may change, other than as God becomes bigger, the rest lies in the shadows. For me, sometimes making that portion bigger seems to require more out of me. In truth, it just means you find rest that comes from Him. You hang out with Him more. You share the burden. You stop, breath and take one step forward. So maybe, just maybe you don’t fail the test, you get back in the game and succeed.

Only He Can Satisfy

I must admit I have struggled with this chapter. Not because I don't agree with it but because it was just a lot of history and information. I have waited for a word about it all rather than moving on to the other chapters. This chapter spoke about the feminist movement--Where we came from and where we are now. There is lots of history and I think we can all agree that 50 years ago, life was very different. Some things have changed for the good, many for the bad but the ironic thing to me is that women are still searching.

Part of being a Godly woman is realizing that only He can satisfy our deepest longings. By saying Yes to Him, we are saying No to the world and to self. There was a question raised in the 50's that sparked the feminist movement... "What is going to bring Women happiness and fulfillment and ultimately joy in life?"

This leads us to believe that depending solely on a husband or children or our homes still left women wanting and empty. there is not a man in the world that can satisfy ALL our needs and being a mother is a great privilage but it still doesn't get to our hearts. They were searching, so when it was presented to them that there was something better they grabbed on. We have also been left wanting when we look to ourselves, sex, our careers, and self fulfillment. Both are striving for what was considered the "ideal" for thier time.

The question then is what is God's ideal? We've missed the point all these years but that doesn't mean we can't turn the ship around. God's too big for that. So what then is the right thing?

My personal conviction is that we look to God first. What does He say? Not our interpretation but what He says. Embracing His ideas, His gospel, His plan and perhaps most importantly, allowing Him to direct our path.

Where are you? What are you looking at for satisfaction? If your identity and happipness is dependent on your family, your home, your career, your goals, your dreams, or your plan, then you are off base. Only our creator, our God, and our King can fill the God shaped hole in our hearts. When we please Him first, the rest will fall into place.

It's Not About Me?

What? The world does not revolve around me and my wants/needs? If I am in trouble, surely it is not my fault. Hmmm, funny how we learn as we live that the world is not about us. Some of us learn this earlier than others and some learn a harder lesson than others. But the principal of "it's not about me" is a painful yet necessary realization in our lives. Once we put ourselves out of the equation, we have perspective, a deeper sense of what this life is all about. We learn the 2nd chapter principle of True Womanhood. I am cheating a bit in the next few statements in that I am copying from the book but I struggled with what to add to such poignant truth. Thoughts that left me sitting my chair speechless and created the sandpaper that continues to smooth my rough edges.
1) From Him are all things---"Every circumstance that touches your life and mine....comes through the filter of His sovereign hand. To resent or resist the current circumstances of your life is to ultimately resist and resent God. A true woman accepts His plan as good, though it may not the way "she" defines good. So lean on Him.

2)Through Him are all things---"He upholds the universe by the word of His Power." So when you feel like you just can't hold things together any longer, guess what? You can't hold Anything together-not even for a second. BUT HE CAN!!!! Live a God Centered Life, one who in the midst of heartache can measure her problem against the vastness of God and realize that He can take it. Be "enthralled" with God and let that let that be your comfort. By this you can have hope-true hope."


3)To Him are all things---When we forget that it's "not about me", He lovingly disciplines us until we are back in line with the way things really are. He is our supreme purpose. He is our Goal. "A True Woman recognizes that her life is not her own. She lives instead for the Glory of God. By saying "yes" Lord, she allows Him to lead her life and embraces her role and God given design. She lives INTENTIONALLY, not just drifting from one thing to another."

There are many things above that are peices and paraphrases of the chapter but once again I picked out the truths that affected my life the most.

So take some time to reflect on these truths. How will they change your life? How will you respond as a woman to live these truths out?

Kristin Carlton


2nd "My Thoughts" installment of the series "The Voices of True Womanhood" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and friends. This is chapter two. See Biblical Womanhood post to see how this whole posting got started.

The Purpose

"What is Your Purpose?" Most of us have heard or learned at some point (at least if you were in church during the "purpose driven life" phenom you should) that our pupose is to Glorify God. Personally I spent many years trying to take this concept and figure out what it looks like from day to day. While the first chapter does not give us the specifics how what this looks like, it does go one layer deeper to tell us what this looks like for Biblical women.

We are privilaged to display the Glory of God through biblical submission. Yes that is for married women the submission of us to our husbands which in John Piper's definition is "the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts."
Note: Singleness is also addressed as a different picture of Christ's relationship to us through submission to Christ. I do not go into specific detail about this in this post but if you would like more information on this picture, I will be happy to give it to you.

As my generation has gotten married and had children or are at least preparing to do so, this concept of submission has gotten twisted, turned, and most of us view or viewed submission as a negative. It is something to be squashed, stiffled and surely not relevant to our time. For the world views this to be true, as if submission takes something from you and makes you inferior. We were taught to question authority, be ourselves, help no one, only help yourself, and many watched unhealthy marriages unfold and dissolve right before our eyes. It's no wonder we get married and struggle with submission. All of these are reasons on why we struggle but unfortunatly does not excuse us from the command.

One has to approach submission in light of truth. Truth is how submission looks in every marriage is a little different. There is no "one plan fits all approach". (I have to say that is completely freeing) John Piper's definition says that submission is carried out "according to her gifts". That means that I can't tell you the specifics in HOW to respect and affirm your husband and his leadership in your home. We are commanded to seek God in this and work out what this looks like in our homes to fulfill our "Purpose".

I can however affirm the importance of it and that you are equipped to do so. It will change your life and your home. It does not stiffle, it frees you. We have the power to not only turn the generation in which we live but to train the next generation in true Biblical Womanhood and submission.

I have come to understand that I can not call myself a follower of Christ and claim that I submit to His authority-- but NOT submit to His plan of putting a leader in my home and NOT submit to my husband. The two are directly related and not exclusive of one another. You can't reap the benefits of one and ignore the other. God doesn't do ala carte. It's full course or nothing. It changed my life when I "got this". I still struggle at times and fall. My husband has a lot of patience. I am so grateful for that but even more grateful that so does my King. It's all a process and the important thing is that you remember truth and seek it.

So my closing thought is how are you doing with your purpose? Have you even thought about submission as your purpose? Are you sitting with one foot in God's throne room and the other squashing your husband? Have you determined your gifts and how you are supposed to use them to respect, honor, and affirm your husband's leadership in your home? If you're on the path of Biblical Submission, have you considered gently mentoring and teaching those around you the model?


Kristin Carlton

1st "My Thoughts" installment of the series "The Voices of True Womanhood" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and friends. This is chapter one. See Biblical Womanhood post to see how this whole posting got started.

Biblical Womanhood

God is taking me on journey. One I am not sure where to exactly start and one I am certain I do not know where it will end. It all started with my husband confronting me with the ugly truth of my disrespect. I never knew I was doing this or at least realized the degree in which it was hurting him. My not realizing my ugliness did not excuse it and I was brought to my knees. I knew the theory of respect, I have preached the theory for goodness sakes, but I had no idea of the application. God led me to http://www.reviveourhearts.com/, a ministry of Life Action and led by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I was completely capitivated by the idea of getting back to what God intended by embracing truths of Womanhood. During this time of learning about Biblical Womanhood I realized that Christian Women just don’t get it. I didn’t and have caught only a glimpse. I have lots of room to grow and I am taking the “one fire at a time” approach. Overall there is a settling for mediocrity. We trample our husbands, throw God’s truth back in His face, we cause others to stumble and all the while proclaim we are Christians. We are hurting, we don't know it and the consequences are devestating. I have been challenged by God to speak truth. This ministry is giving us a challenge of blogging about this topic. Stay tuned for the journey. . . . .

Carrie the Great

Well, we said good-bye for a season to my sister in law Carrie. She was responsible for pushing her brother over the edge to ask me on a date so to her, I am eternally grateful. She has lived here for the past 5ish years after a brief stint in Kansas City and Salina. Somehow she has known when I needed out of the house, needed a meal cooked, needed my children taken off my hands. She kept me sane many of times when I really wasn't sure that was a possibility. She's taught me more about life, love, and what servanthood really entails than many people I have known in my life. She's got a big heart and I will miss that. I will miss the random trips to the ER (see previous post), the sarcasm, the thought that all I have to do is call and she'd be there to rescue me or my daughter from me. Thank you Carrie for the last 5 years of memories!!!!!!!!
I look forward now to the road trips, the holidays, and the conversations on Facebook and watching what great work God is going to continue to do in her life. . . . . . .

The Horse

So, mornings are hard. For a variety of reasons most of which are familar to you...the physical act of getting out of bed, convincing your children that it is time to get out of bed, convincing your husband to get out of bed, remembering the myriad of items that must be taken, etc etc. Most that know me, know that I work outside of the home so my kiddos go to preschool. This simple fact of getting them ready, out the door and delievered is sometimes frustrating, many times excruciating as the knowledge that you are leaving them for the day hits. Now, God has given me a spirit of contentment in my job and I actually like it, but that doesn't turn the mommy feelings off. Some mornings are better than others, but on this particular morning I was having a particularly rough time leaving both Laura and Lane. I turned the corner and I saw the 2 year old room's most recent art project. A horse, simple I know but you would have to see it-it was made out a child's handprint turned upside down. I burst out in laughter. God gave me this simple moment of grace. I thought to myself, now I would have NEVER thought to turn a handprint into a horse. A turkey maybe, but never a horse.
In this season of life, my children are learning so much and I get a small sliver of thier day. It has come to my attention that this is the most important sliver of thier day. From me they learn character, right, wrong, who God is, how to pray, brush their hair, teeth, dress, make cookies, and generally about life. Just because I am away from them x hours a day does not dismiss this responsibility.
So I am OK with not knowing how to make a horse out of a handprint and really OK that they get that creativity from somewhere as long as I don't fail at teaching them life.